“Freaking out at the small stuff in life is just not worth your time, effort, and stress.”
In life, there are many problems that arise. Some big that are truly worth taking time to think about, figuring out a correct answer to. While others which are very small and not a big deal, but somehow you end up making that small problem into an end of the world issue.
Reality is: Shit happens in life. Most of the time, it’s not a big deal.
There are two main ways this happens:
- When someone stuffs the toilet bowl and it over flows. In that case “shit happened” literally. Not one of my proudest moments.
- When a problem arises that is a big deal to you. When looking at it from an outside point of view when you are calmer, it’s really not as a big of as deal as you thought it was originally.
I am going to touch upon number 2 in this post (No pun intended). Neither of those are the end of the world. Yes, it may be a “shitty experience” in the moment, but when all is said and done you look and think how crazy you acted for no reason.
Freaking out at the small stuff in life is just not worth your time, effort, and stress. It only does more harm than good for you, mentally and physically. I will touch more on the science of stress later in this article.
Growing up with the conditions that life brought upon me was not easy for my parents to deal with at times. Despite being an amazing woman, more often than not my mother would be a bit neurotic at times. Over reacting at the smallest things for absolutely no reason. That only brought stress upon herself, that in-turn, the outside stimulus stress I was experiencing daily from the people around me transferred over to my life as well. That only made the problems I was dealing with that much harder.
As I got older into my teenage years I realized I had a lot of my mother’s over reacting qualities in me. That had to change.
The Shit Happens Mindset & How I achieved it:
What I came to realize was that I needed personal development skills, coping mechanisms on how to deal with certain situations that arose. I immediately got to work.
I read everything I could about self-improvement on the internet, books, videos. You name it. I applied everything that I thought was similar to my personality. I made amazing strides and I fucked up tons of times. That’s where the real leaning experience of “Not giving a shit” came to show its face. Anyone can succeeded and feel happy about them selves, but the true test of strength is failing over and over again and saying “Fuck it, let’s give it another shot”. By not being “Outcome Dependent” I was able to rid myself of caring about the little things that people did, which would normally bother me.
As time went on, the feeling of not giving a shit transferred over into the to other areas of my life. I made not giving a shit a habit in my mind. Now I am able to “Turn a switch” in my mind and not care. As they say “Repetition is the mother of all skill”. That is a fact when it comes to creating long-lasting habits in your life.
I would say to myself “What is the WORST possible outcome that can happen to me in this situation” – I was realistic about the situation and came to realize “It’s not a big deal”
Once I realized outcome dependency was my problem I was able to tackle anything life through at me. I had no expectations and enjoyed each moment as they came. Most importantly I look at everything as a learning experience. The good, and the bad. I learned to take my re-activeness and turn it into being proactive.
“Learn to be Proactive, not Reactive”
There are times when saying “Fuck it, shit happens” is not appropriate, as a matter of fact, there are certain situations in life that saying something like that wouldn’t even be in the realm of reality. Such as:
- A death of a loved one
- You’re about to lose your job, home, or anything that contributes a more positive attribute to your life
- You have an important deadline that affects your future in a negative way if it’s not done on time
Now that we went over the times you need to get with reality and not blow things off. Here is my personal list of when I say “Shit happens – It’s no big deal”
- A flat tire – Fuck it, shit happens. Change the tire
- Your phone broke and you need a new one – Who cares? You can live without a phone for a day or two. Deal with it
- Your friend didn’t get back to you when they said they would? – Doesn’t matter. You have your own life to enjoy
- You get pulled over by the cops for speeding – It’s your fault for speeding. You have no to blame but yourself. It happens, learn from it and move on
- You have a deadline that you are manifesting in your head to be “The End of the World” but in reality it won’t have a negative effect on your future – Simple answer – START EARLIER, do not leave it to the last-minute
As you can see, more often than not I am blowing off the small things because the reality is, the situations when all is said and done, are not big deal. Shit happens; I am not going to sit there thinking “Fuck! Now I need a new tire or I can’t get to work on Monday”…Blah, blah blah.” – No, I am going to get that tire fixed. If I can’t get it fixed in time, I will get a rental car, get a ride from friends or family, take the bus, or borrow a car.
If you go over the list one more time you can see that you can get every single one of those bullet points taken care of very quickly. Unfortunately those common things I listed are what people stress out over the most nowadays.
Concentrating on one, or at most two of my goals are more important than taking up extra space in my brain having to think of 100 different things at one time. Which is what happens if you are constantly thinking of the small things in life that are bothering you. That becomes stressful manifestation in its self:
What is stress?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress can be defined as the brain’s response to any demand. There are many things that can trigger this response. Such as change. The changes can be mild, major or extreme. Some examples may be:
- Riding a roller coaster
- Winning a race
- Exposure to violence
- A car accident
Sudden and severe stress generally produces:
- An increase in heart rate
- Dilation of lungs and increased breathing
- Decrease of appetite
- A release of glucose (Source of energy) from the liver
When you are experiencing stress part of the brain called the hypothalamus, is activated. The hypothalamus in is the area in charge that responds to stress. When a stress response is triggered, it sends signals to two area of your brain. The pituitary gland, and the adrenal medulla.
Short term stress responses are produced via theSympathomedullary Pathway, or SAM for short. Long term stress is regulated by Hypothalamic Pituitary-Adrenal system, or HPA.
How do you act when stressed?
Many people respond to stress differently. Some get over existed, such a getting angry. While others get under excited, and withdraw from others.
Over excited stress response – If you tend to become angry, agitated, or keyed up under stress, you will respond best to stress relief activities that quiet you down.
Under excited stress response – If you tend to become depressed, withdrawn, or spaced out under stress, you will respond best to stress relief activities that are stimulating and that energize your nervous system.
5 Stress relieving tips:
- Crank up the music and rock out
- Exercise regularly, three times a week. I suggest boxing as an outlet
- Change your thinking, it will change your feelings
- Don’t overthink things and exacerbate a problem worse than it is
- Vent – If no one is around, using an internet message forum may work well for you